Congratulations, head enthusiast; you're about to experience Head Games, a irregularly scheduled, yet pretty like Whether we're covering how to connect your mouth to someone's genitals in the most pleasing way possible, or how different cultures and species blow each other, it'll be covered here, in this fellatio-friendly corner of the internet. Welcome aboard. But by god, is it impressive. Ooh, and useful. Given the opportunity, who wouldn't want to dole out the world's greatest blow job to themselves, courtesy of themselves?
So you want to know how to suck your own dick huh? This technique is basically like squeezing your meat scepter like a tube of toothpaste. There is ZERO scientific evidence that jelqing, or really just squeezing your penis has ANY positive effect on the length of your member. BUT, you need to be extremely patient. Remember, even small physiological factors such as time of day can effect the size of your wiener.
Illustration by Catherine Soule. Come on, you know you've tried it. If you have a penis, a mouth, 15 spare minutes, and even an iota of curiosity, you've tried to see just how close you can get your face to that pesky little pecker you carry around in your pants. That's OK, man has been trying to get that thing into his mouth since the dawn of time. Unfortunately, most of us can't do it.